Dont Yuck Someone’s Yum

Hi my people!

I recently came across a T-shirt that said, “Don’t yuck someone’s yum.” And I loved it instantly. Not because I am some enlightened soul who believes everyone should be allowed to live their truth while I sit peacefully under a tree, radiating kindness. Oh no. I am very much a work in progress.

The phrase simply means: don’t ruin something someone enjoys just because you don’t enjoy it. Basically, not everyone has to share your taste in things, and you don’t have to announce your disapproval every time someone likes something you find ridiculous.

Sounds simple enough, right?

Except the moment I read it, my brain decided to conduct a little audit of my own behaviour. And let me tell you, the results were not flattering.

There is the friend who watched the show Naagin with the dedication of someone following a national election, and i have mocked her ruthlessly. There is the acquaintance who makes reels that make me question the entire purpose of the internet. There are people who enjoy certain songs, wear certain clothes, follow certain trends, or post things that make me think, Really? This is what we’re doing now?

The irony is that I would be thoroughly offended if someone mocked my own little pleasures. My favourite books, the songs I play on repeat, the things I write about, or the utterly pointless things I find entertaining. Suddenly, I would have a whole speech prepared about individuality, personal freedom, and the importance of letting people be themselves. Apparently, individuality is wonderful as long as it looks like mine.

The secret pleasure of feeling a little superior

Let’s admit it. There is a strange little thrill in looking at something someone else enjoys and deciding that we are somehow above it.

We don’t just say, “That’s not my thing.” We say, “How can anyone possibly enjoy that?” There is a difference, The first is a preference. The second is a judgement disguised as a preference.

Psychology offers a few explanations for this. One is the idea of social identity: we use our tastes, interests and opinions to communicate who we are and which groups we belong to, even the things we refuse to watch can become little badges of identity. So when we mock someone else’s taste, we may be doing more than expressing dislike. Sometimes, we are quietly declaring, “I am not like those people. I have better taste. I know better.”

Think about it. We have all met people who take enormous pride in not watching popular television, not listening to commercial music, or not understanding the appeal of something millions of people enjoy. Their dislike almost becomes a personality trait.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having discerning taste. You are allowed to dislike a film, question a trend or find a song unbearably irritating. But somewhere along the way, I don’t enjoy this becomes people who enjoy this are stupid.

We often mock others because we’re terrified of being mocked ourselves. In a world obsessed with being cool, we hide our guilty pleasures, abandon things we love, and laugh along just to fit in. Somewhere along the way, we start caring more about being acceptable than being happy. And that’s a rather sad price to pay for looking cool.

But isn’t making fun of things just humour?

Of course, it is. And before anyone accuses me of trying to ban comedy, let me clarify that I have absolutely no intention of doing so. I love a good joke. I speak sarcasm fluently. I believe the ability to laugh at ourselves is one of life’s most useful survival skills.

Friends tease each other, cousins make fun of each other’s choices, and sometimes the funniest conversations are the ones in which everyone is laughing at their own ridiculousness.

The distinction, I think, lies in what the joke is doing. Are we making fun of an absurd situation, or are we making a person feel small for enjoying something harmless? And does the person being teased feel included in the joke, or are they simply expected to tolerate it because everyone else is having a good time? The phrase “It’s just a joke” can sometimes become a convenient escape route from taking responsibility for what we say.

A joke can be funny and still be unkind.

Now, if all this happened occasionally over a cup of chai, perhaps it wouldn’t feel quite so exhausting. But we have the internet.

We have entire corners of social media dedicated to reacting to, mocking and dissecting other people’s choices. Sometimes, the content is genuinely funny. Sometimes, the criticism is justified. But often, the original person has done nothing more controversial than enjoy something in public.

And here is the uncomfortable part: the audience gets rewarded. We get likes for the clever comment, shares for the savage takedown, and approval for being the person who said what everyone else was thinking. Mockery becomes a form of social currency. The sharper the insult, the more entertaining we are considered.

Social media also removes a little of the humanity from the person on the other side of the screen. We stop seeing someone who might be nervous, excited, having a good day, or simply trying something new., trying to overcome thier shyness. We forget that the person we are laughing at may be reading every word.

We don’t know their story. We rarely bother to find out. We simply consume the content, consume the joke, and move on to the next person. The internet has given everyone a microphone, but it hasn’t necessarily taught us when to put it down.

So, what do we do when we catch ourselves judging?

I wish I could end this blog by saying that I have learnt my lesson and will never again make fun of a questionable reel or roll my eyes at a television show I cannot understand.

I will probably still have opinions. I might still find some trends baffling. I may never understand the appeal of certain shows, and there will undoubtedly be reels that test my patience in ways I didn’t know were possible. The goal isn’t to stop having preferences. It is to stop confusing our preferences with universal truths.

You don’t have to pretend to like everything. You don’t have to compliment every reel or watch every show your friends recommend. You are allowed to say, “That’s not my cup of tea,” and leave it at that.

Sometimes, the kindest response is not an enthusiastic compliment. It is simply the absence of an unnecessary insult.

A little less judgement, a little more joy

Coming back to that T-shirt, I think what I loved most about the phrase was its simplicity.

Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.

It doesn’t ask us to agree with everyone. It doesn’t ask us to abandon our opinions, pretend to love things we hate, or become endlessly agreeable human beings. It simply asks us to recognise that other people are allowed to find joy in places where we find none.

We live in a world where everyone is searching for happiness, buying books about happiness, attending workshops about happiness, and posting quotes about protecting their happiness. And then, when we find someone who has managed to find a little joy in a television show about shape-shifting snakes, we make fun of them.

Maybe the real problem isn’t that people enjoy ridiculous things. Maybe it’s that we need to feel a little superior to feel good about ourselves. And that’s a rather ridiculous thing to enjoy, isn’t it?

Love & Ice creams
Sneha Singhvi