Let me tell you what this theory is. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was an experiment conducted by psychologist Robert.EKleck and Angelo Strenta. Participants were brought into a room and a fake scar was drawn on their face using makeup. They were shown the scar in the mirror it looked very real, very noticeable. Naturally, they felt conscious. But here\u2019s the twist. Before they were sent in the other room to interact with people, the researcher told them they needed to \u201ctouch up\u201d the scar\u2026 and quietly removed it completely. So when they walked in the other room, there was no scar on their face. But they didn\u2019t know that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And when they came back, almost all of them said the same thing: Just a belief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And isn\u2019t that a little unsettling, this experiment shows us something we don\u2019t always realise, that we are constantly carrying invisible \u201cscars\u201d in our minds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A bad decision. We walk into rooms believing everyone can see it<\/em>.We edit ourselves mid-sentence. Not because the world is always judging\u2026but because we feel<\/em> like it is. And slowly, without even noticing, this imagined gaze of others begins to shape us. Our behaviour changes. We become slightly quieter, more careful,slightly less ourselves. It\u2019s fascinating, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many a times people dont even need to say anything out loud for us to still feel its weight. We like to believe we\u2019re independent thinkers, that we don\u2019t care what others think\u2026 but the truth is, we are wired for connection and acceptance. And somewhere deep inside, there\u2019s always this quiet voice asking: That\u2019s the real scar. Not on our skin\u2026 but in our perception and the funny thing is somewhere deep down, we\u00a0know<\/em>…we know the scar isn\u2019t really there. We know that people aren\u2019t analysing us as closely as we imagine. We know that everyone around us is carrying their own quiet insecurities and yet we still adjust ourselves,still hesitate, still shrink just a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n the truth says, but the feeling whispers, and in that tiny gap between truth and feeling our behaviour is born. we choose the safer option and soften our opinions. we replay our words after conversations end. not because we don\u2019t know better\u2026but because knowing something and\u00a0believing it in your bones<\/em>\u00a0are two very different things. We are aware enough to know that everyone has their own \u201cscar\u201d\u2026 but vulnerable enough to still feel like ours is somehow more visible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another thing i realised when i was writing this is, there have been moments where i completely forget about my scar showing, and it was the time when i was comfortable with the people i was with, when i know i wont be judged for laughing loudly but rather, my people will join in. With the right people, you\u2019re not constantly aware of how you\u2019re coming across you\u2019re just present and that makes a difference. You stop analysing every word, you feel more at ease, and things feel lighter without you even trying too hard.i guess it\u2019s not about getting rid of the \u201cscar,\u201d but about being around people who make it irrelevant. And when you find that\u2026 you realise you were never too much, just in the wrong room. so here is to hoping that may we all end up in the right room always.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do let me know your thoughts about this in the comments below \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n Love & Ice creams Hiii my people\u2026 Today I stumbled upon something so simple, yet so quietly powerful\u2026 it\u2019s called “The spotlight effect”. And the moment I read about it, I just sat there thinking this is exactly how we all move through life. Let me tell you what this theory is. There was an experiment conducted by psychologist Robert.EKleck and Angelo Strenta. Participants were brought into a room and a fake scar was drawn on their face using makeup. They were shown the scar in the mirror it looked very real, very noticeable. Naturally, they felt conscious. But here\u2019s the twist. Before they were sent in the other room to interact with people, the researcher told them they needed to \u201ctouch up\u201d the scar\u2026 and quietly removed it completely. So when they walked in the other room, there was no scar on their face. But they didn\u2019t know that. And when they came back, almost all of them said the same thing:People were staring at me. People were noticing. I felt judged. But\u2026 there was nothing there. No scar.No mark. No flaw. Just a belief. And isn\u2019t that a little unsettling, this experiment shows us something we don\u2019t always realise, that we are constantly carrying invisible \u201cscars\u201d in our minds. A bad decision.An awkward moment.A comment someone made years ago.A version of us we\u2019ve outgrown but can\u2019t seem to let go of. We walk into rooms believing everyone can see it.We edit ourselves mid-sentence.We hold back our laughter.We rethink what we wear, what we say, how we exist. Not because the world is always judging\u2026but because we feel like it is. And slowly, without even noticing, this imagined gaze of others begins to shape us. Our behaviour changes. We become slightly quieter, more careful,slightly less ourselves. It\u2019s fascinating, isn\u2019t it? Many a times people dont even need to say anything out loud for us to still feel its weight. We like to believe we\u2019re independent thinkers, that we don\u2019t care what others think\u2026 but the truth is, we are wired for connection and acceptance. And somewhere deep inside, there\u2019s always this quiet voice asking:\u201cAm I being seen the right way?\u201d That\u2019s the real scar. Not on our skin\u2026 but in our perception and the funny thing is somewhere deep down, we\u00a0know…we know the scar isn\u2019t really there. We know that people aren\u2019t analysing us as closely as we imagine. We know that everyone around us is carrying their own quiet insecurities and yet we still adjust ourselves,still hesitate, still shrink just a little. the truth says,\u201cyou\u2019re fine, nobody cares that much.\u201d but the feeling whispers,\u201cwhat if they do?\u201d and in that tiny gap between truth and feeling our behaviour is born. we choose the safer option and soften our opinions. we replay our words after conversations end. not because we don\u2019t know better\u2026but because knowing something and\u00a0believing it in your bones\u00a0are two very different things. We are aware enough to know that everyone has their own \u201cscar\u201d\u2026 but vulnerable enough to still feel like ours is somehow more visible. Another thing i realised when i was writing this is, there have been moments where i completely forget about my scar showing, and it was the time when i was comfortable with the people i was with, when i know i wont be judged for laughing loudly but rather, my people will join in. With the right people, you\u2019re not constantly aware of how you\u2019re coming across you\u2019re just present and that makes a difference. You stop analysing every word, you feel more at ease, and things feel lighter without you even trying too hard.i guess it\u2019s not about getting rid of the \u201cscar,\u201d but about being around people who make it irrelevant. And when you find that\u2026 you realise you were never too much, just in the wrong room. so here is to hoping that may we all end up in the right room always. Do let me know your thoughts about this in the comments below \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":410,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[79,73,78,77],"class_list":["post-404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-be-kind","tag-insecurities","tag-judged","tag-mindfullness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=404"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":414,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404\/revisions\/414"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
People were staring at me. People were noticing. I felt judged.<\/em> But\u2026 there was nothing there. No scar.
No mark. No flaw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An awkward moment.
A comment someone made years ago.
A version of us we\u2019ve outgrown but can\u2019t seem to let go of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We hold back our laughter.We rethink what we wear, what we say, how we exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAm I being seen the right way?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cyou\u2019re fine, nobody cares that much.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cwhat if they do?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sneha Singhvi<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/snehasinghvi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Cream-White-Feminine-Reminder-Quotes-Instagram-Post.png\")
<\/figure>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"